


Can't Love Me

by Arizona96



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arizona96/pseuds/Arizona96
Summary: An in depth look into Michael's mind as he meets and loses his mother.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Can't Love Me

Impenetrable. He's used that word to describe a lot of things before. His "brother's" stubbornness. His "sister's" will. Alex's head. Hell, even his own heart. But that word can only be used for this damn door! He's tried everything to break it down. Caveman style with his fists, his feet, anything and everything not bolted to the floor. His brain, once he remembers that he is somewhat taught, and is a genius in his own right. Taking the panel off the wall, he busies himself with the wires; carefully stripping them and connecting them in any way he thinks will work. All the while, the woman in the glass cage stares at him. Her stare unnerves him, which is an impressive feat. He gets the feeling that she isn't looking skin deep, but much further than that. He isn't religious for multiple reasons. 1, He isn't human, this isn't his planet, so its arbitrary faiths don't apply to him. 2, He's a man of science and naively believing in a man who he can't see, hear, or touch, but who is always present and created everything?? Come on. And 3, he's an alien. All faiths deny his very existence, so he already knows it's all fake. These 3 facts boil down to this; even if he believed humans had souls, he isn't human so he doesn't have one. But this woman??? She stares at him like she can see his soul, and it's her own personal salvation. She stares at him like he personally hung the moon, the stars, entire galaxies.....just for her. And he can't shake this feeling that he knows her, has known her his entire life. He *needs* to know why. The burning shock from the wires brings him to reality and he wrenches his fingers from them and SCREAMS wordlessly in frustration. Fuck it, he thinks. "I'm doing this the old fashioned way." He holds his hand out and concentrates. His eyes close and his entire being focuses on this damn door, forcing it to bend to his will and open! The glass cracks, and the force of it severs his focus. He only has seconds to register the heart-breaking look on the woman's face before an ear piercing wail goes off. A bomb. Of course it's a fucking bomb, he thinks wildly. He expects nothing less from Jesse Manes. The woman looks at him like her entire world has fallen from underneath her, and intrinsically he knows it's more for him than knowing she's minutes away from death. All of his intelligence leaves him and he starts beating on the door, damn near hysterical in his attempts to get her out and ask her what she knows. He's screaming the whole time. "Who are you? Why do I know you? What am I to you?!?!" Distantly he can hear Alex calling for him, but he ignores it. Suddenly Alex is there. "The alarm is not a suggestion!" "THEY'RE MY FAMILY, ALEX!!!!" He screams, out of his mind. He's never had a family before, and he'll be damned before he loses this one before he can even know them. A psychic pull comes from behind him. He's never felt it before, that he can remember, but it feels so familiar. Like nothing else in this world ever has before. He turns to see the woman holding her glowing hand to the cracked glass. Calling to him through it, begging him to come closer. He holds his hand up to hers and the world falls away. Alex, the siren, and the glass all fall away so that they are holding hands. The years melt away from the woman until she's his age, maybe a little older. Blonde hair cascades from where bald patchy skin was previously. Eyes the color of the sky, shining brightly with tears of happiness, and sadness, and regret. Her smile lights up his questionably there soul, and her hands entwine with his so tightly, like she's afraid to ever let him go. And a feeling he's never felt before, fills him to the core. Overwhelming love, and peace, and *belonging* washing over him, practically bowling him over. He never wants to let this feeling go. She sends him a sense feeling of looking at him, not from now, but from before. Before he can remember....from before the pod. He's so young, and happy, and carefree......and loved. A mother's love. She never speaks to him in words. Instead she pours her love for him into his mind, all the things she wanted him to know. All the things she never got to say in words. And never will. Finally she says, "I love you. Listen to your lover, and run. I love you." And then her hand pulls away and the connection between them is broken. The real world comes crashing into him breaking the tranquility. The loss of her breaks something in him, and he feels so cold, and numb, and lost. He stumbles into Alex's arms, bereft and unfeeling. Pulling himself together, he looks into Alex's eyes, wide with fear and worry. He grabs Alex's hand and runs, not trusting himself to look back. He knows that if he looks back, he will never leave, and he won't risk Alex like that. So he runs, never letting his tears fall. He never sees his mother's face as she watches her son run for his life. Resignment locking her body in place. Regret in her eyes and grief in her soul. He never knew her, and he grew up never knowing she was so close. He never knew just how much she regretted never getting to raise him. Her eyes close, tears slipping down her face as she waits for death.

He never forgets her face.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to, I'm sorry. Happy writing is not my forte, so if that's what you're here for I will disappoint you every time. I love Michael's character but you don't often get a look inside his mind or his heart. Criticism always appreciated, and let me know what to write next!


End file.
